Chronicles of Pang

well, a farewell to the blog anyway. I have reached enlightenment

now, we all like to look cool now don’t we? Of course we do! looking cool is a pretty pang activity. now to some of us it does come naturally:

ok, ok, I am kidding, she looks like a mug. But what I have done there is called ‘bullying’ and that is one part of being cool - being the bully not the bullied. Just to reinforce: If I were to say that the girl in the above picture was a fat whore it would put me in a position of superiority… which is not at all hard to attain when being compared to someone like that…

But there is one way to ensure you always look cool - and that is by leaning.

Seriously, anyone seening to be leaning in automatically cool, observe:

Why is leaning so pang? Well simply put it shows ownership. And that is great when you don’t actually own something. For example, if you lean against a car everyone will think that is your car… why that matters doesn’t matter… if you lean against a pile of books everyone will think you are super bright and have read them all. If you lean against the mafia everyone will think your the Godfather and have balls of cotton wall shoved in your mouth… I am sure this is all perfectly understandable now.

ON ABOUT YOUR DAY

the shakeweight -a work of pure unadulturated GENIUS. As everyone knows: if you want pang in your life you have to be able to shake. Some people just aren’t natural born shakers though e.g:

well thank the Lord for who ever invented the shakeweight, a great way to train up to your full shaking potential. Before you know it you’ll be shaking all kinds of things, including yourself, and then you will truely be on the rorad to pang.

Here is me using a shakeweight at three points of my life:

as pang as giving is, sometimes charity takes a little something from you:

yep, 24 hours ago things were just awful… the enemy town of barnaby-upon-borington had poisoned half of Hull’s water supplies and we were near death. But then someone spiked our water with pang instead of poison! well thank goodness! now things are back to swinging awesomeness.

lets celebrate:

is not as pang as you would think it might be, turns out there are time you should learn to say never.